I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
