Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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