You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
