Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
