Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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