My nipple is on Facebook.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
