Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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