Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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