her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
