i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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