The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
