Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize