i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
