hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
