i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
