i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
