I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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