So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
