Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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