So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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