Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
