I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
