Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
