no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
