Dual....:-)
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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