how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
