it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
