He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Mom said you looked used
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize