nut hugger
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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