Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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