I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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