i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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