I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize