im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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