I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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