Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
