Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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