And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
