you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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