Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
