I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
