bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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