the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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