their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize