so explain again why im purple
no
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
