No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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