Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
