He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
