you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Can I color on your dick again?
I need to sanitize my soul.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
