omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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