Fuck appropriateness.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just blew my weed a kiss
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
