but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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