I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
