i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
