Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize