SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize