Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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