Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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