Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
