idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
