I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
