I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
