well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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