my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
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