i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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