i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
