Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
