it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
