That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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