redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
