I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Randomize