I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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