Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize