He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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