So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
