So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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