WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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