Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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